Venting Frustration

DISCLAIMER:

If you don't want to hear my venting than don't read this post, I HAD to write down my feelings! It's not very coherent or in any well organized manner, just thoughts that came up as I sat to write them.

So, Saturday my parents come over, it was suppose to be just my dad dropping off a recipe to me, but mom came too because they were going out to get a Christmas tree. They come in and say to each other "should we tell her?" I'm thinking just say it instead of making comments back and forth on who should tell me, I am 29 years old! They say, "Adam left for the Military on Monday." WHAT?!?!? Well, I start going off about how come he didn't tell me, he could of called and later on thinking why didn't they call me earlier to tell me. My voice was trembling because I was SO angry, and EXTREMELY upset about it. What a JERK!! What made me more angry was that they kept defending him and wouldn't even aknowledge MY feelings of hurt, I feel that I have every right to be upset at him and yes, I still am!! They said "He didn't tell a lot of people" SO? was my thought and my mom said "He's 25 years old he can do what he wants." YES, I know he is an adult and can do what he wants, but that doesn't mean that I'm not his sister anymore and that he could do me the common courtesy and just call, JUST CALL and let me know! ALSO, WHAT ABOUT HIS NEPHEWS?? I made a comment to my mom, that I totally mean, "Well, he never came over to see his nephews!" and it is SO true. I honestly, don't feel that he even likes them. He would get SO angry at Corin. Yes, Corin is an active child, I know that!! Also, Thanksgiving he didn't even aknowledge that they were there. He never wanted to play with them or even talk with Shane and I because he was too interested in talking with the Sarbins. And since I'm on a vent fest, I'm going to address Thanksgiving. When we were kids, we could get together with close friends to spend the holidays with since we never traveled to visit family, none were close or traveled to see us. It was fine then, but my personally option now is that since there are now grandkids, even if its just mine, that we should just spend it together as extended family since we are close. Well, my mom still has has people over AND she seems to do whatever the boys want, and NOT listen to what I would want. So, Adam wanted the Sarbins over for Thanksgiving and that is what she did, invited them over (the sister missionaries were over to and I'm totally fine with them, that is different) I sent her a text prior to Tanksgiving asking if it could just be family and I got NO response!! What was up with that? Why couldn't my opinion be considered and listened to? Adam already spents TONS of time with the Sarbins anway, he can give up a holiday to spend with family!! I feel so much less in my mother's eyes, that since Adam went on a mission he is better than I am. She wrote me a letter once and a sentence that always sticks out in my mind is "If you went on a mission I would have missed you just as much" (or something to that effect), I WASN'T SUPPOSE TO GO ON A MISSION, THAT WAS THE ANSWER I WAS GIVEN BY THE LORD!!! All I feel she cares about is getting grandchildren. Our family relationships SUCK! I am not close with my brothers and some of it I feel stems from not doing many things together just as a family, ALWAYS we were with others during the holidays! To build those relationships it will take time and a lot of time has gone by for the building them, but we could try to start now, but NOPE that's not going to happen. I know my brothers don't like hanging out with Shane or I because in their eyes we boring, we don't like the same things, movies etc, but REALLY we could find a common ground like playing games or something, but my mom doesn't like games so she won't play! They rather hang out with their friends instead and I feel they consider their friends more family than thier own family members, well mainly me because Austin is close to Adam, so I'm left in the dust feeling like crap because I am unloved by my brothers and haven't done anything of major significance, (well at least I feel in my mother's eyes, I feel differently) in my life! Its a terrible feeling of anger, hurt and sadness that you're own brother wouldn't tell you that he was leaving, a simple phone call would have been just fine, and that he would rather tell everyone else but me, his own sister, but than again I think he doesn't even aknowledge he has a sister. Right now I am SO angry that I want to be vendicitive, I want to erase his phone number off my phone, (its probably closed anyway so that doesn't matter) the few pictures I have of him with my boys to rip them up, burn them, get rid of them to make it as though he doesn't exsist in our lives, because he never really was a part of the boys lives, he always was TOO busy to call and come over to spend time with them. All I asked was that he called first for when he wanted to came over, I wasn't going to call to making him come over, it had to be his decision and I know were they went, to his friends only. Oh, and WHY is the ONLY information I get from my parents was that he left, they didn't say ANYTHING else!! I made a post on facebook about it and I got quite a few comments on it. Christina Carney, a HS friend of Adam's and I went to HS with her too said basically that I wasn't looking at the other side of the story. I replied that I didn't know any other side because NOBODY would tell me ANYTHING!! I asked her what the other side was and she said that it was a family issue and that she made a promise! Well, like I have said before that he thought of friends before family. I am not asking for anything else but the common courtesy of being told by him and also NOT a week later by my parents. I know its over and done with, but I feel I should get an explanation as to wny I was treated like CRAP and WHY ADAM doesn't like his nephews!!